As you may know, since you’re here, my name is Courtnee. I am a musically-inclined perpetually broke-open transformation catalyst teacher healer thinker feeler artist theatrical force of nature person thing.
I am really good at the art of being private in public, living life on my own terms, articulating via artistic mediums, providing for myself against the grain, touching others, being a breath of fresh air, inspiring people, leveling up, laughing, crying, and seeing into the soul of things.
I am a ferocious social justice advocate, and part-time activist. I attend protests, rallies, pay attention to the progressive news cycle, write, and engage in hashtag activism against racism, capitalism and patriarchy.
I talk a lot, write a lot, and make stuff.
Vocations/Labors of Love
I keep in touch with my supporters through Patreon, a crowdfunding tool for creatives which operates somewhat like kickstarter. Eventually, I hope to sustain a basic income from Patreon support.
For 8 years, I have been chief loving-asskicker at Artful Touch in downtown Seattle, where I combined somatics and self care coaching with massage. I recently closed my brick and mortar healing practice, which had tethered me to Seattle since 2008, as part of a life transition in which I have dedicated my foreseeable future to art, music, performing, connecting, and traveling America.. in a rusty old van.
Where I come from
I grew up in Sacramento, spending most of my tortured adolescence on EFnet, on massive amounts of drugs, waiting for the next DEFCON.
At the turn of the century I’d transplanted to Seattle, worked at Microsoft, on early smart phones, and bounced around the dot com boom.
I was a performing circus aerialist for 13 years, and taught lessons, specializing in teaching beginners.
I served four years as the board president and creative director of Vita Arts, a 501(c)(3) arts non-profit I co-founded in 2009. Vita is still transforming lives through artistic expression with a new crew at the helm.
I also have backgrounds in medical administration, private investigation, theater, mixology, and a bunch of other shit. I have both jumped out of a plane, breathed at the bottom of the ocean.
The Art of Living
“I would like to be remembered as somebody who made the path a little easier for somebody behind me” – Heather Flemming
I am the sort of person who simultaneously mirrors to others how far they have come, as well as how far they have to go. I am both a perpetual student and a natural teacher. My life specialty is creation and destruction, beginnings and endings. I help people learn new things, let go of old things, and am relentlessly doing both of those things myself, constantly transforming.
Personal growth and social evolution are absolute core elements of my existence. Some can call it in and be fine; I would not be alive today if I had done that. Healing has been integral to my survival, and I am deeply dedicated to it. I place a lot of effort figuring out what’s really going on below — mostly me, sometimes you. I dig on psychology and geeking out on sociological trends.
As an attempt survivor, I advocate for mental health and suicide prevention awareness, and write about my personal experience occasionally on my blog.
I have moments of pure bonding with people, even strangers and my readers, but choose to have very few truly close personal friends; even fewer as I change and grow. I am in many ways nomadic both in life circumstance and in personality, and I highly value my extended communities of acquaintances in countless social circles who embrace me warmly when I cycle through.
I cuss, overshare, and tell it like it is. I am often silly and dorky when I am not isolated by my compulsion to ponder the deep elements of the human condition and the state of the planet. I like cat videos and talking about poop. Love Carlin. Hate Tosh.
I am an ambivert, high in imagination and in assertiveness. I am socially apt and charismatic, however large social groups and superficial parties drain me. I tend to avoid them unless I am performing, involved in activism, or in charge somehow; in which I still often need days to recover.
”The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper..” – Picasso
I am excruciatingly sensitive. I pick up a lot from the world and the people in it. I have historically spent a lot of time in denial about that in order to get through the day, numb and disconnected. After experiencing a year of celibacy, self focus, and no intoxicants, that’s not so much my reality, anymore.
I love the simplicity of really sitting with taking in a big breath of fresh air. Travel frees my soul, I do it as often as I can and am very fortunate to have friends who support this element of my life.
I am currently saving (or, rather, trying desperately not to hemorrhage my savings) to build a tiny off-grid house on wheels. Though, since moving into the van and leaving city life behind me, I no longer dream often of finding home, and ending the constant churning cycle of scrambling to find places to live. I have home, for now.
Finding me online
I’ve been documenting my existence online since long before companies had urls or people called their online journals “blogs”. I come from a time when trolling wasn’t trolling, it was just how everyone I knew treated one another.
At one time, (1995-2004) this website was called phuqed.org, and I spent most of my time complaining, lashing, and being afraid. I still do that, sometimes, but mostly other stuff, now.
I also ran one of the first webcams on the internet, but you’ve probably never heard of it.
My social networking tends to fluctuate whereas the existence of this website has remained constant.
These are my current websites:
http://neevita.net – All-encompassed Art Site
http://blog.neevita.net – Diary and Art Blog <—– YOU ARE HERE
http://courtneefallonrex.net – Visual Art (for galleries, mostly)
http://artfultouch.info – My 5-star rated self care practice.
You are more powerful than what was done to you
My origins are, largely, in trauma. The following books were invaluable first-steps toward many a profound breakthrough in my difficult, abuse-laden life. They are listed in chronological order.
- “Control Theory” by William Glasser
- “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
- “Escaping Emotional Entrapment” – Daniel Rutley
- “The Courage to Trust” – Cynthia L. Wall, LCSW
- “Dance of Anger” – Harriet Lerner
These books helped me, undoubtedly. It is important to mention however, that no matter how intelligent and insightful, reading and intellectualizing alone cannot heal deep psychological wounds.
It was only when I began continuously applying this lesson in my life experiences, seeking experiential therapies and reconnecting with my body, that my subconscious began healing and my life blossomed.
Here are a few of the impactful experiences I’ve had which have supported me in my growth:
- The Landmark Forum. The structure around the excellent education is a cultish and aggressive pyramid scheme. If you can look past that, go for the empowering kick in the ass.
- The Grief Recovery Method. My experience with the book and exercises combined with sessions with a trained specialist continue to help me complete trauma in my life. I am also a certified specialist in the method.
- Vipassana Meditation. If you have plateaued in your growth or want to start at the deep end of felt-sense healing, I highly recommend it. Beware of the compassion baiting; Anger is a teacher, too.
- Nonvoilent Communication – life enriching communication skills to help you stay calm and compassionate even in the most trying circumstances. The process helps build your emotional vocabulary, and provides a framework so you can more clearly communicate your feelings, hopes, and what you want in ways that make it easier for others to hear you.
- Systemic Constellations – a healing modality, which combines felt sense, grief recovery, and human witness.
If you wanna talk with me, I can be contacted at email@example.com
Take care of you,
About the Author: Courtnee Fallon Rex
Courtnee is a musically-inclined perpetually broke-open transformation catalyst teacher healer thinker feeler artist theatrical force of nature person thing. She thinks deeply, feels deeply and lives life on her own terms. You can participate in her work and support her nomadic mobile life for as little as $1 a month via her Patreon campaign. She has three studio albums, original artwork, and prints for sale online. Some day, she hopes to upgrade from a van to a Tiny House on wheels